Silence Verses the Echo Chamber

Quite often, silence beats the echo chamber.

Growing up as an only child, I was often charged with the task of entertaining myself…. which was fine by me! I’ve always had a fertile imagination…. and my grand”parents” gifted me with plenty of books, art supplies and music to keep me sufficiently occupied. Oh, and a Barbie Dream House…. how could I fail to mention that?!

The thing, though….. I preferred the books and art supplies to the Dream House. Weird kid, right? The connection with the books, art, music…… was just much deeper. There’s only so many ways to rearrange Barbie and Ken’s furniture.

My grand”mother” was amused….. she said then…. “This one will not abide any boxes.” Turned out…. she was right. Fortunately, she was able to laugh about it with me, instead of feeling dismayed.

All of my “child’s play” led to lots of thinking….. lots of connecting dots…. lots of creation. That level of comfort, with creation, would bode well for my future. I’ve had many situations where thinking quickly, on my feet, was vital to success. Every situation is a mini-assignment…. and whether the mini-assignment involves care-taking, teaching, being a student myself… comforting a friend, celebrating a friend…. whatever…… a quick wit is a welcomed companion. With such a thing, one is never alone.

I believe everyone has the ability to develop a quick wit…. however, it is very challenging to cultivate a sense of self and one’s own wits in an echo chamber. Think about all the echo chambers we find ourselves in, daily….. from the moment the alarm sounds, we’re being told “what” is TRULY “what”. My question always remains “Really?” I’m open to any assertion… I just like some factual evidence for support.

Advertisers, family members, supervisors, subordinates, the guy at the dry cleaner…. everyone has their truth. If enough of these daily interactions share a similar world view, one suddenly finds him/herself in an echo chamber…. same narrative, different characters….. but an identical narrative, all the same.

We know enough about the human need for connection to know that people will gravitate to what is most familiar; it is comforting, it is safe. Yet, the Sacred Assignment has a wildness that cannot be tamed. It is not a wildness of the world, no, it is a very spiritual brand of wild. It has few rules, but there are a few…. one is love for self, love for others, which wears many faces. Another one is personal conscience…. one’s own judgments about what is “right” and “wrong”. Personal conscience cannot help but flourish in moments of peace and quiet…. it’s just that those moments are so few and far between.

There is a mechanism, though, that calls for high alert. Each person’s individual conscience, given the chance, will respond, not react, to information and events. What is the difference between a response and a reaction? A response is based on calm, balanced reasoning…. a reaction is flashy, emotional…. easily provoked. At some point, we each spend time with response and reaction. The key is knowing which is which.

If one remains in an information bubble, everything becomes linear….. and sometimes, life just isn’t linear. It’s a loopty-loop circle….. singular and unique, to each person, and his/her Sacred Assignment.

Learn to make peace with silence….. embrace it….. grow in it. Step outside the usual, talk with people who are markedly different from the “normal” crowd….. get some perspective. People with perspective handle curve balls way more gracefully…. because there is more than one way…. more than what is available from the echo chamber.

Priorities 101: Escaping Good, Better, Best

The only moment that is real is the one your senses are experiencing. That would mean NOW.

Pastor Rob Bell (Love Wins) is fond of reminding us of a principle which is espoused by Eckhart Tolle, Ram Das and other spiritual masters….. Be Here Now. Be Here, in this Moment. The power of NOW,

What the heck does all this mean, for the average person, who has 33, 164 things to do… by 7:00 PM?

That To-Do list doesn’t seem like hyperbole, no? We all have SO. MUCH. TO. DO. No one is sure when this phenomenon took hold, but estimates place the date right around the time food became fast, people became disposable and touching the wrong button could immediately transport one from New York to New Zealand….. virtually speaking, of course.

We’re all so involved…. and so overwhelmed. We rush around from one activity to another, frantically trying to balance multiple obligations, roles and priorities. We instinctively know that something is wrong with the last sentence…. obligations came first… priorities came last.

This stuff really is not so hard…. yet, we insist on making it difficult. Most job advertisements list “Ability to effectively prioritize” as a key qualification…. the bad news is….. so few do this anymore…. even the folks who are asking for it.

Being busy, for the sake of business, is not productive…. it is not ambitious… it is not admirable. It is a form of distraction. We have convinced ourselves that the appearance of productivity (style) is more important than the results of actual productivity (substance).

Disengaging from this habit is counter-cultural….. which will make it, for many, counter-intuitive. Yet, the Sacred Assignment has never been, nor will ever be about buzz phrases such as “expedience”, “maximizing”, or “overnight results”. People say all the time, nothing happens overnight…. so why is the latent expectation incongruent, with what we really know?

A great part of the reason is we try to attack our priorities from a position of good, better, best. Yet, unless we are consistently placing people (including ourselves) in the best category, we’re destined for a world of anxiety. There are several reasons for this:

A. The only person we can control is ourselves, and even that is a minute-by-minute endeavor.
B. Facts on the ground change. The “next right thing”, even  five minutes ago, may be different, in this moment.
C. We are product oriented, opposed to process oriented. We want it all yesterday. Wait, make that last week. The main problem with this is skipping steps in the process guarantees an inferior product.
D. We confuse “busy” with “important” and “successful”. These three things are actually all quite different.

The average to-do list will send one reeling,  right into a nervous breakdown before the first cup of morning coffee. Why do we allow this? Why do we have such a hard time setting priorities, then adhering to them? It is not the way of the world… but then again, the Sacred Assignment rarely is.

It might be worthwhile to consider getting out of the trap of “good, better, best.” A healthier approach might be “love, integrity, greater good.” If we changed the whole system, and tried this approach… what might happen? Less stress, less fear, less fatigue, less burn-out? I can practically guarantee that an instant sense of calm would blanket the pockets of people who commit to this change.

Making decisions about where to place one’s time is really easy. The trick is evicting the nagging voices of “should and ought”,  while replacing them with the messengers of “love and peace”. What will bring the most balance to those I love? What will set the tone for the highest degree of peace?

Imposing this new perspective will, undoubtedly, change one’s life. Some people may not understand. All the right ones will understand, completely; they might even join you! The trap of incessant activity, in the chase for “good, better, best” places us in yesterday or tomorrow…. but very rarely does it place us in the here and now, with the people who are in front of us. The Sacred Assignment has a lot of variation, lots of mini-assignments, rolled into the larger tapestry. It is process oriented.  Stop and look, every now and again…. or you might miss something that was truly BEST!

A Bold Invitation

In-To-Me-See is a bold invitation.

Anyone ever heard intimacy referred to as “In-To-Me-See”? The first time I heard this, I was working with renowned marriage expert Joe Beam. Joe was always quick to distinguish himself; during his monthly workshops; he would pepper his presentation with the adamant declaration “I am a teacher…. I am NOT a counselor!” I always kept silent, but internally, I had to disagree.

The use of this phrase, “In-To-Me-See”, as it happens, is  widely used when counselors are trying to describe the process of real intimacy. I’m not talking about the homogenized, Hallmark version; I’m talking about real intimacy, the bold invitation for someone to literally see, into your soul. The concept is thrilling and terrifying, all at once.

What’s thrilling about it? Think about the prospect of someone seeing you, with crystal clear accuracy. This type of vision would allow the person to not only discern your deepest hopes, dreams, aspirations, fears, shameful spots, courageous virtues , among so many other things…. it would allow the person to completely understand your motives, thought processes, intentions…. it would open so many doors of communication and communion.

What’s terrifying about it? Everything listed, above.

When talking with people, I sometimes get the sense that there’s more in them…. more that longs to be revealed and shared…. but actually taking that leap… it is a leap of faith…. that the other person is not going to recoil, or worse, mock. one’s deepest soul-stirrings… requires tremendous fortitude. Mocking someone’s deepest fears, for example, brandishes a wound that is not easily healed.

Still, I contend that not even the above considerations are what cause people to avoid real intimacy. I believe the overarching problem is a lack of self-awareness. You may be thinking “Shannon, people are so self-absorbed these days, how can you say they lack self-awareness?” Self absorption and self-awareness are two very different things.

When a person is self-absorbed, his/her focus is on….. him/herself. It is a preoccupation that can manifest in various ways. It may show up as someone riddled with insecurities, or it may appear as one who simply has no concern for anyone but him.herself, something we refer to as a lack of empathy.  It wears other disguises, too…. but the thread that runs through them all is the absolute certainty that s/he is not concerned with you…. or you…. or you. S/he is much too wrapped in “self”.

Self awareness is completely different. When one is self-aware, s/he has a truly intimate relationship, with all of his/her qualities. Not only does s.he have this relationship, s/he also extends grace, understanding that the lesser instincts will sometimes surface…. and they will teach their lessons…. then quietly resolve themselves. If the self-aware person is going through a particularly rough patch, the lesser instincts might make an encore,,,, but they will be instantly recognized, acknowledged, and forgiven. They will not be given lodging; they will not be invited to stick around. Yet, they will be given dignity… for the learning experience they provide.

Once a person can be intimate with him/herself, intimacy with another becomes much easier. If I can forgive my personal foibles, I am in a position to create a safe place for other people’s tender spots. Grace becomes the order of the day…. and relationships flourish, under the umbrella of grace.

The Sacred Assignment, with all of its mini-assignments, carries an invitation for wisdom and grace. In-To-Me-See begins with seeing into oneself…. and accepting that all is well, even the tender spots.

Inauspicious Beginnings

The Christmas Story has always carried special significance for me. Easter is the holiday where we fully embrace the gift of Jesus, as our savior…… but Christmas is kind of a big deal too….. not the commercialism, but the herculean expectations…. just the idea of gathering, as a family, to remember what love really means.
.

This may shock you, but as a little girl, I had to remain on high alert. Fortunately, I was perceptive…. but I always had to know who to open the door to…. was it one of my parents’ “business associates”? If so, I was to invite them in, mix them a drink, and disappear to my room. I was three -six years old.

I was aware that my mother wished she’d had an abortion…. my biological father Barry Suckle, had suggested it. He hates my mother so much, he’d rather have blood on his hands than any reminder that he was married to her. She considered doing it, but nurtured pipe dreams of me serving as an anchor baby, to his fortune.

That didn’t turn out so well.

Then came along the other bajillion men she married…… fortunately, i was spared most of this, after they beat me into a pulp just one too many times. Cocaine will do that, it will make you feel super-human. Especially with little kids. Read it up.

My grand”parents” finally got me for good, when i was nine years old. Nobody could have asked for better. Seriously. They were the best. We were each given the oppotunity to serve one another…. and I am so grateful. I miss them, more than I can ever say.

So….. yes….. I had a very odd childhood, compete with the latest stereo equipment, Effanbee dolls from around the world, Cabbage Patch kids, my OWN bottle of Lauren, Snoopy for days…… all of these things from my grand”parents”,,,,, and mist importantly….. love.

I had rejection, drunken stupors, no food for 74 hours because hey, they weren’t hungry….. I mixed drinks (couldn’t reach it, had to hop up on the wetbar…..) attended some pretty fine concerts (believe it or not, my mother’s friends liked me way more than she did), picked up lots of marijuana off a velour bedspread……. and cowered in a corner, because I knew my beating was coming….. I knew I would cry out for my mother, and the only thing that would happen is I would get mocked, by my abuser. This happened over the span of several husbands…. and depending on her mood, she might join in and pick out an eyelash or two herself.

I am now left with no biological family (outside of some cousins scattered cross-country). My biological father and I hadn’t spoken in 22 years until yesterday. In a very matter-of-fact tone, he laid it out in no uncertain terms. He has seven grandchildren, there’s no room for me. That whole ordeal is a long story too, one for another column.

I’m not the best with this, but i believe Jesus said something to the effect of if you turn away a child, or hurt a child, you’ve done it to HIM………..something to think about.

Say It Out Loud, I’m Troubled and Proud!

“The revolution will not be televised.” – Gil- Scott Heron

“The revolution will not be televised….” this is perhaps one of the best known lyrics from the late activist/musician/poet Gil-Scott Heron. Strongly associated with the empowerment movement of the late 60s/early70s, this one statement served as a clarion call to the masses: Do not expect your struggle to interest others. Do not expect a crowd of many, rallying around the cause of justice Do not expect an instant solution, in an acculturated society, where inequality is habitual. No, the revolution will not be televised….. at least, not immediately. A product of its time, this statement gave people permission to stand up for themselves, even if nobody was looking….. or maybe especially, if they were looking, but not seeing.

How times have changed. Many of us wander around as though we’re being followed by some form of media…. and with the rise of social media, with all its tentacles, it’s understandable! Most of us now have our own reality show…. whether we broadcast it on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Vine,,,,, most people have a public space where they can express themselves, for all the world to see. Of course, reality television is only as good as its editor. We edit the content we choose to present….. our personal revolutions are usually reserved for those closest to us…. or maybe just for ourselves…. in some cases, even we don’t know what’s bubbling beneath the surface,

The Sacred Assignment is very difficult, for those who willfully avoid discomfort. While there are many joys on this journey, there are also set-backs, disappointments, left-field head bonks…. frankly, sadness and tragedy is a constant companion, even when it stands in the shadows. Joy and delight are constant companions, too….. even when they stand in the shadows. Each partner takes its turn, in its time.

We like to white-wash the bad times, spruce them up, see the silver lining, make them….. meaningful. They are extremely meaningful….. but the ribbons and bows, bells and whistles…. the ornaments aren’t necessary. In fact, they tend to distract, leading to suppression.

How many of you have either said, or been told, the following:

“It feels bad right now, but it won’t feel this way forever.”
“I know this seems unbearable, but we’re never given more than we can stand.”
“Time heals everything.”
“We may never understand, but everything happens for a reason”

The above statements are designed to comfort. They are crafted with an eye toward hope; they are well-meaning. They also usually do very little to sooth the wounded.

Truthfully, the above statements comfort the by-stander, the friend, the co-worker….. who is at a loss for words. There is no inherent selfishness….. people want to help….. they just don’t want to catch the bad fortune that is afflicting their friend…. because what would they tell themselves?!

When we suppress negative feelings, results of undesirable outcomes, they don’t just vanish. They hang around, waiting for the precise moment to pounce and announce themselves. “Hey, remember me? I’m baaaaaccckk! I’m wearing a new suit, just for you, but I’m here to make my unique contribution!” In other words,the feelings go underground, with every intention of resurfacing….. at the most inopportune time. Nothing can derail completion of a mini-assignment quite like unresolved emotional grief.

The thing that is particularly troubling about suppressed negative emotions is the insidious nature of their tactics. Suddenly, even the person who is upset recognizes that the voice s/he hears…. the tone….. the actual words…. are disconnected from who the person knows him/herself to be. Suppression will do that…… it can transmute feelings, but it refuses to transform them.

If there is something that you’re grieving….. and death of a loved one is not the only thing which may be grieved….. any emotional loss that delivered a body-blow…. take time to work through it…. not with platitudes or instant-fixes…..but the real work…. Two amazing things will happen; supression will become foreign…. which is healthy…. and excavation of wounds will release you to pursue each mini-assignment, with a mind and heart that is at ease.

Present and Accounted

“It is by presence of mind, in untried emergencies, that the native metal of man is tested.” – James Russell Lowell

I love this James Russel Lowell quote…. but I’m going to step out on a limb and add something…. presence of mind and heart is not just for emergencies…. it is also for loving movement toward the Sacred Assignment.

We often lament how distracted we are these days….  and honestly, how could we not be a bit fragmented? In the recent past, a chosen circle of people (family, close friends) vied for our attention, with the occasional interruption by a telemarketer, blaring television advertisements and, depending on one’s location, some random cacophony from the street.

Contemporary society is now filled with so many diversions, it’s a wonder anything is ever completed. We are all still bursting with creative, innovative ideas… but then we get interrupted…. a million times….. by a million different sources, competing for our consideration.  Some of these interruptions are welcomed, while others are mere obstacles to remaining fully present.

What does the presence of mind (and heart) have to do with the Sacred Assignment? Quite frankly, it serves as the analytical authority, designed to filter and process each of our concepts, dreams, intentions, goals, desires….. all the things that help create each mini-assignment, as well as the umbrella notion of the Sacred Assignment. Remember 1 Corinthians 13:1? “f I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal” ? Yes, this one verse does a nice job of summarizing a ready, fire aim approach

Tending to the present, with an open, observant mind and heart, is critical to the Sacred Assignment. It is not an unnatural state of being; shattered attention is actually the more unnatural state. We were designed to prioritize, then focus, on the immediate task at hand. Our brains are organized in miraculous ways! We can entertain multiple thoughts, we can store a “to-do” list, to ensure that all priorities are addressed. Yet, we become less effective when we allow thoughts to tumble over one another, doing the acrobatics of “good, better, best”. Once this circus act begins, hopes of staying present, with a mind and heart that can attend to the task at hand, decrease, Dramatically.
.
“Okay,” you may be thinking , “This all sounds fantastic!. However, it doesn’t seem very practical. I am not being dramatic when I say I have a million things to do each day. I literally have a million things to do each day!”  I don’t think i could find one person, in modern times, who would agree with the statement “I am always ahead of my to-do list….. and I always feel 110% organized, focused and ready to seamlessly move from one thing to the next.”  In all fairness, there’s probably never been a time in history where this statement would have resonated with the masses.

Today, though, we value time, in fragments…. we glorify split attention. It all makes us feel productive, in control, masters of our fate. Well….. the good news is our productivity, on the whole,is higher The bad news is, we feel more empty, less grounded and generally less happy. The latter conditions do not bode well for discernment, a critical key in the Sacred Assignment.

I’m going to challenge you to an experiment. Stop and think  about what presence of mind and heart really means (See…. the question itself is already making you twitchy!) Think about what living with intention looks like….. and I’m not talking about slogans and catch-phrases…. I’m talking about reaching inside to wrap around living with intention through one’s eyes, ears, sentience (touch)……. thought patterns…… heart rhythms….. all of it. Repeating a mantra will never bring you presence of mind and heart. The practice of presence is a new way of seeing the world, a shift in what’s truly important. Everyone is important, everything is important, but one person can only hold one priority, at a time. We’re just wired that way.

Presence of mind and heart opens so many doors, in the Sacred Assignment. You are now ready to organize the mini-assignments…. and when they’re organized…… look out! The upward spiral is now in motion…. one step close to the Sacred Assignment, with each mini-assignment, in its ordered steps.

Presence of heart and mind is a struggle; I would never suggest otherwise, I love my readers, I will always respect your intelligences. However…… it is so worth it…. and attainable. Try giving it some value, and practice. See what happens.

What’s All This Talk, About Freedom in Forgiveness?

“True forgiveness is when you can say ‘Thank you for that experience.'” – Oprah Winfrey

Forgiveness is one of those universal needs….. the need to forgive, while also being forgiven. It is a universal call to the edge, where forgiving oneself may be the most challenging act of all.

We all long for an instruction manual, to guide us through life’s turbulent waters… in the case of forgiveness, we are in luck.  This thorny subject has inspired a whole collection of ideas, from various sources, both secular and religions, material and spiritual, There are countless mini-assignments, within the Sacred Assignment, that benefit from this canon.

Forgiveness is release. When I forgive someone, I release him/her from the bondage of his/her behavior…. at least, to the extent that it stirs anger, within me. Everything is clearly relative, but assuming  the transgression was something which hurt incredibly, but did not leave permanent damage….. this type of forgiveness is not easily offered, but it is definitely doable. I wish them well. Most usually, reconciliation will also take place, and the relationship will be fully restored.

If the misdeed left a scar (emotional or physical) this becomes more of a struggle…. at least, for some. For those who do nurse their wounds, the idea of releasing the perpetrator is unfathomable. In fact, the idea of EVER releasing the perpetrator, or allowing that the aggressive party is a person of dignity and worth, just because s/he exists…. can seem impossible. It is not impossible…. but the pacing, the time required… a much, much longer process….. patience, for all involved.

The mini-assignments, within the Sacred Assignment, offer opportunities  for perpetual growth. One of the key growth concepts is rooted in the notion that each of us has tremendous potential. The fulfillment of that potential is somewhat dependent on being surrounded by good will; Abraham Maslow speaks of this in his Hierarchy of Needs. In order to become a self-actualized person (his personal definition of potential fulfillment), several critical components must serve as a foundation. Belonging is one of them; according to him, if one has a sense s/he doesn’t belong, it thwarts ascension to the next level of actualization. Almost in tandem with this need, Maslow states that a healthy self-concept is vital for self-actualization, too. What, though, does any of this have to do with forgiveness?

After the dark deed, forgiveness is the only transportation to the other side, where potential awaits. Beginning with oneself, forgiveness is paramount; if I can’t forgive myself, there is little hope I can move forward. Misdeeds are heavy convoys… they profess to protect and guard, when actually, they obstruct and stunt. There is a misguided comfort in saying to oneself “If I hold onto this, and never forget the pain, I won’t do this to myself, or others…. ever again.” This sounds conscientious….. when really, it’s defeatist. When we hold so tightly, we can’t forgive…. and if we can’t forgive, we’re doomed to repeat an error of judgment. The lesson doesn’t need to be lost; the judgment and pain does.

When looking at forgiving others, many feel that if they extend forgiveness, they’re letting the other person off the hook. They forget about the center of forgiveness, it is a gift to oneself. There is nothing in the forgiveness model which states behaviors must be accepted, tolerated, condoned or approved. On the contrary, healthy forgiveness is quite quick to recognize that a breach occurred, a breach that needs repair. Running away from that blatant fact is missing part of the entire point! However, a breach isn’t a person, it is a thing. So, we, in time, forgive the breach…. and wish the person well.

Now, a word about reconciliation. Many think that forgiveness and reconciliation (restoration of the relationship) are conjoined twins; they are most assuredly not! Forgiveness is a fruit of the spirit…. reconciliation is a material act. One must reconcile with him/herself, because that’s the one “body” who is not going anywhere, anytime soon. Anybody else…. reconciliation is not always necessary… or even advisable. One can forgive another….. in mind, heart and spirit….. without continuing a relationship. Any relationship that circumvents one’s Sacred Assignment…. for any reason…. is probably ill-advised. No guilt over this, no shame…. sometimes, a mini-assignment involves pruning….. with love, tenderness and wishes for all the best.

Levels of forgiveness are easily gauged by what one no longer feels: resentment, vengeful anger, anxiety, unhealthy competitiveness (this includes the  “Living a good life is the best revenge” mindset….. this is resentment, turned inside-out), anything negative, concerning the person who wounded. Forgiveness is achieved once that person is no longer bound in your mind and heart, out of your way, so you can pursue the next mini-assignment, within your grand design.

In Praise of Doubt

Doubt always resolves, once we trust the soul.

There is a concept in psychology called confirmation bias .Without getting too technical, it basically means we humans search for information to support our beliefs, regardless of whether the information is factually based. Sometimes, this tendency leads to detours, on the Sacred Assignment path, that could have been avoided…… or, some of you might counter, maybe they weren’t detours after all. However, the research does show that many regrets are born of a wicked case of confirmation bias.

Now, once a person has gone through such an experience, one might think “Well, next time s/he is faced with a similar situation, I bet more contemplation will be involved.” Errr…… not necessarily.

Contemplation often leads to questions….. which is good. The benefit doesn’t change the fact that questions lead to more thought…. which can lead to the most frightening concept of all…. doubt. In the first place, most people are resistant to change…. but if they are forced to accept change, they at least want to keep their worldview intact, This is not always possible….. which leads to paralyzing doubt, about events, people….. the next step.

Doubt is designed to give pause; having doubts doesn’t mean one is a hopeless skeptic, chaotically confused or just “kinda flaky.” No, doubt is actually a very healthy response to many situations, it causes people to slow down and consider all angles. Instead of focusing on the good part, though, people tend to run, quickly, from the statement doubt inevitably creates, at least temporarily. People are loath to relax into the space called “I don’t know.”

“I don’t know” has gotten a bad reputation, for implying ignorance, laziness, apathy…. a general disconnect. Yet, “I don’t know” can also mean “I have questions I am trying to resolve. I am seeking information, to accomplish this task. I may not have an answer today, but I’m doing the hard work to have an answer tomorrow…. or soon.” Okay, great, but in our thirty-minute, prime-time world, this seems unacceptable too! Answers tomorrow? No, no!  We demand answers today…. yesterday…. last week…. and with such a treadmill, it is next to impossible for doubt to do its thing.

Doubt is a kissing cousin of discernment. Ahhh, discernment has a better connotation, doesn’t it? Discernment means taking a little time to really analyze, to toss possibilities, to read and study. Discernment is a form of contemplation…… of course, doubt is part and parcel of this process.

People are afraid of doubt because they fear it will weaken their convictions….. or their character….. or…. well, the list goes on and on. The truth is, without some shade of doubt, every now and again, it is almost guaranteed one is hurtling through life, asking few questions, running on auto-pilot….. and failing to pick up new facts on the ground. This speed-of-light pace can quickly undermine the Sacred Assignment.

It has been said that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. This is often true, but sometimes, the student is simply thrust onto the stage, with little preparation, and few guideposts. In these cases, a healthy dose of doubt, which inspires authentic exploration, clears the way for the path of Sacred Assignment. If we each knew it all, we could wrap the assignment today, thoroughly satisfied that we left no stone unturned. I can only speak for myself, but I am highly doubtful I’ve mastered all the lessons I need to learn, to say “Job completed….. fully and perfectly.”

I am here to testify, my job is not completed! In order to keep moving forward, with my mini-assignments, I choose to recognize doubt as a friendly ally, in the quest of Sacred Assignment. Doubt does not shake faith; doubt creates an arena where questions can be explored…. and Sacred Assignment is all about exploration.

The next time you experience doubt, and it feels uncomfortable, sit with the fact that yes, it does feel uneasy. However, please try to remind yourself that doubt is the first step toward truth…. and the truth always sets you free!

Confidence: A Pillar of Sacred Assignment

Confidence: A Pillar of Sacred Assignment.

Confidence: A Pillar of Sacred Assignment

“There’s something about a woman whose confidence comes from experiences. Who knows she can fall, pick herself up, and go on.” – Unknown

There is very little one can achieve in life, without some degree of confidence. There is absolutely no way to tackle the more difficult mini-assignments, folded into one’s singular Sacred Assignment, without a high level of confidence. Of course, this concept is much easier to speak, or write, than it is to actually acquire.

In my experience, the thing that bolsters confidence the most is….. experience. Experience with both victory and defeat are each critical, in equal measure, to developing a muscular confidence. We are conditioned to believe that confidence is based in success…. and, to some extent, it is. However, it is also rooted in failure….. if the failure is put in proper perspective.

As a young child,  I had two voices, whispering in my ear. The one on the right said “You can do anything! Literally anything! There is nothing you can’t achieve! You were born for a very special reason, and we’re so glad you’re here!” The one on the left said “You are a dreadful mistake, from conception forward. I wish I had made a better choice, and gotten rid of you, when I had an easy chance. Your biological father feels the same, as does your adoptive father…. whom I had to trick, into assuming responsibility for you. None of us want you. You will amount to nothing, because you shouldn’t even be here.”

Those are some pretty powerful voices….. each of them, resolute in their assessment of me. It took me years…. and years…. to finally understand that those voices spoke more about how each person felt about themselves….. and had very little to do with me.

True confidence emerges when none of the voices matter…. yet, there are some voices who will always matter. The Supreme voice, in your world, is the spiritual whisper. You are here, so clearly that’s the definitive message from the spiritual whisper, saying  “Beloved Creation… and it is good.”  The other voice that matters, equally, is yours! Your own voice is equally important, as it creates your reality…… my personal belief is we share a co-agency, with the spiritual…..merely my own thoughts…… I definitely believe that what we tell ourselves has a great deal to do with what we attract and manifest. It’s not as simple as that, obviously….. there are a million other factors that play a role. I do think our internal voice is crucial, though, in creating the right environment for the Sacred Assignment to unfold.

So. is there a recipe, for whipping up a batch of confidence, if one is running low? There are so many steps in this process…. and so many back-slides….. which are perfectly natural and infinitely okay. One step is being a voice, not an echo…… do not echo the negative voices, who have sought to block your gifts. It’s nothing personal…… it’s not about you, after all.

Secondly, make friends with both success and failure Success is an easy companion, but failure calls for a little more work. We are told to avoid failure, at all costs….. because failure is equated with weakness, incompetence, just BAD, in all capital letters. Each of us holds hands with failure, at some point. We can run, but we can’t hide….. and sometimes, holding hands with failure is most assuredly a mini-assignment, in the grand scheme.

Thirdly….. be mindful of where you put your focus. If you are focused on yourself, for self-improvement, that is positive. We all have work to do, every day, to meet the mini-assignments; sometimes, that work is a fixer-upper project. In life, we are faced with our better selves, and our less-than-better selves…. on a daily basis. Focus on the fact that there is time, opportunity and awareness….. all gifts… all invitations to transform what inhibits  and cultivate what flourishes.

Always believe there is a better day….. and always believe you deserve it. Regardless of what is happening around you, these two beliefs generate hope…. and hope leads to more confidence. It’s not as easy as that…. but once you get grounded, in true confidence… it really is that simple!